A Spoonful of Sugar Makes the Medicine Go Down!

And a spoonful of sugar makes the blood sugar go up!!
My cousin Stella sent me these pictures in an email and it really makes you stop and think.

Each cube of sugar represents 1 teaspoon of sugar.

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. . .

Doctor's Appointments

I had two doctors appointments this morning. Now you know how graphic I can get about doctors appointments and procedures...I warn you ahead of time.

The first doctor was my endocrinologist. An endocrinologist is a specially trained doctor who diagnoses and treats diseases that affect your glands and hormone levels (endocrine system) such as:
Adrenal Disorders
Diabetes
Lipid Disorders
Osteoporosis
Pituitary Disorders
Parathyroid and Calcium Disorders
PCOS, infertility
Thyroid Disorders ...which is my disorder and why I see one.

The second doctor was my surgeon, and well, I guess you know what surgeons do, except this one did it twice; cut me open I mean.

So I thought I would show you a picture of my two doctors. . .

First my endocrinologist. Capable looking guy isn't he? He can manage any of my disorders anytime!

And this is my surgeon. Definitely a man you would trust to take a knife to your throat isn't he?

Ok, Ok...I know. These are those two doctors from Greys Anatomy, a show I absolutely adore for many different reasons. The two McDreamy, McSteamy guys shown above being two reasons why I adore the show, mmmmmmmm, yummy!

So why did I lie and try to pass off these two gorgeous men as my doctors? Well because today's doctors visits consisted of the endocrinologist and the surgeon (both during different appointments, one at 8am and one at 9am) massaging and palpitating my neck and shoulder area gently with their bare hands. And do you think that when I closed my eyes, (cause to be frank, it felt pretty damn good) I thought about the actual real life doctors? No way Jose! I thought about those two doctors up above. It was worth the $275 a piece that I paid today!

A girl can dream can't she?

I can't wait til next Monday when I have a mammogram scheduled. Let's see what doctor or x-ray technician I conjure up for that one! Stay tuned.

Iwanna Wednesday

Bet you thought I forgot about Iwanna Wednesday today didn't you? Well never fear, I didn't. But what Iwanna today is not an object, today Iwanna tell you a story, a funny story, a story not for the faint of heart or the squeamish. A story of normal bodily functions and the trials and tribulations of growing older. Now remember, I didn't say of growing OLD...I said of growing OLDER, there is a big difference. All of you 40 and over out there, can I get an AMEN?

About a month ago I went for one of those routine checkups to my regular, normal medical doctor. She's the one that found the cancer originally and I love her to death for saving my life. Dr. Tracey Levens, Mwaaaaaaaaaa *big kiss* to ya!

So she did the pap smear, the breast exam, the growling and grumbling about my weight. She asked me to contact my insurance to see if they cover Pneumonia shots (which I still haven't done). She asked me to get my living will to her (this is about the 4th time that she has asked for this and she has yet to get it, you think she would get the hint..I'm not planning on dying!)

She gave me paperwork to schedule my mammogram and then she gave me the oddest thing! This is what Iwanna tell you about. She gave me a home, whew...can I really say it? Or even type it? Remember...I warned you! She gave me a "home stool sample kit"!

Oh yes she did!! She handed me a small box, and she explained to me that inside the box was a sheet of paper which I had to stretch across my toilet bowl and do my thing (oh the indignity!). She didn't go into too much detail from there, probably because of the look of amazement/disgust on my face. She said further directions were in the box and to just do the test and there was a smaller box in there to mail it all back to them, or...and get this, I could just bring it by the office and hand it to the girl at the front desk!

Now...I hope you know what a stool is? No Virginia, it's not one of these. . .

It's one of these (and in the interest of keeping myself from gagging and also from having my computer pull up distasteful fetish porn sites, I looked up FAKE POOP, so this is a picture of FAKE POOP.) (Still pretty darn gross though, am I right?)

Well a month later I still hadn't done it, I had opened the box and read the instructions and it gagged me so much I couldn't do it. But unfortunately I received a letter in the mail from my doctor, and it read:

WE HAVE NOT RECEIVED BACK THE STOOL KIT GIVEN AT YOUR PHYSICAL 4/21/2009. PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO DO THE TEST AND RETURN KIT BACK TO OUR OFFICE. THANK YOU. . .

Now those dot.dot.dot's. . . after that comment were actually typed at the end of the statement and I know what they mean...they're medical jargon for LOL! I know it, they're still laughing at me as they realize I have to poop on paper and collect a sample for them, Grrrrrrrrr!!!

Anyway, yesterday I finally got brave enough to do the test. I placed this long strip of paper that had two little tape strips at either end, on my toilet seat. It was about 5 inches wide. Then I prepared the little sampler thingy (I believe that is the proper medical term, thank you very much!) So I have my sampler thingy ready, which looks something like this...

So I sit and I wait. Now I don't know about you, but anytime I sit down to, how can I put this delicately, when I sit down to "relieve my bowels", (yuk) I always have to pee first, but you can't pee, it's not allowed, so this was harder than you think.

Anyway, I do my thing and you can't wipe cause there's this object taped to your toilet blocking the way and if you wipe and tear it off then the poop falls into the bowl rendering said poop unusable and soiled. what? huh? what?

So I stand up, (please don't picture this in your head, please, please, please). I stand up and get this little sampler thingy which you saw pictured earlier and you have to stab it 5, yes 5...not 4, not 6, but 5 times into your "sample".

Then you take said sampler thingy and put it into the glass tube that has liquid in it and you seal it and shake it up. (Now remember, at this point I have not wiped yet...ugh!!!)

Then you take this tube that encloses your poop and you place it into a zip lock baggie thingy. Then you take the zip lock baggie thingy and place it into an envelope which then goes into a box which is then sealed and ready to be mailed or taken by HAND to the doctors office.

The final package looks something like this...

So yesterday morning, my sister Lisa comes to get me and unbeknownst to her... I have poopy in my pursy :-)

I finally explained to her what I did and told her I needed to drop it off at my doctors office. She told me we could go on our lunch hour and then grab some lunch after, (like I had an appetite after all that!)

But alas, my doctor's office is closed during the lunch hour and they don't have a poopy drop-off slot in their door! So the poopy came home with me and I told Lisa I would drop it off the next morning and just be late for work. So all day long I had this poopy with me, and I had a poopy day as well. Coincidence? Hmmmm, I wonder.

So the poopy came home with me and this morning Lisa told me, "Instead of being late, let me just put some postage on it, I have some at the office and then you don't have to stress about it". She's a real, Let's-get-it-done kind of person. So as I got off the car I handed her my poopy envelope for her to put postage on and mail.

Now I know this has been a long, long post. But I hope you stuck with me and read every word because what Iwanna really tell you is the text conversation Lisa and I had a bit later that morning:

Me to Lisa: 7:45a.m.
Thank you for the pie. I know you like it when I say thank you.

Lisa to me: 8:25a.m.
Whatever smartass, by the way, the poop is in the mail.

Me to Lisa: 8:26a.m.
Thank you taking care of my shit for me.

Lisa to me: 8:27a.m.
Lol you funny man, woman!

I crack my self up!
Lisa cracks me up!
Lisa cracks herself up!
Mailing poopy cracks me up!
Needless to say, today was not a poopy day at all!
And Lisa and I had a good laugh all day long. I hope you have a good laugh as well.
Hope you enjoyed the story Iwanna'd to tell you and that you felt it was appropriate for Iwanna Wednesday.

Captivity ~ Day Three

Well I made it! I lived through the night and now Day Three is almost over. I will admit it was a rough night. The lump in my throat grew a little more and then around 2am I went to the bathroom and noticed I was having a hard time breathing and that there was some bubbling and rumbling in my chest when I did breathe. It kinda scared me, but I took an Aleve and went back to bed cause that's how I roll...I don't sweat it and stay up all night worrying...I had dreams to catch up on.

So this morning I woke up and it's really sore and swollen and all red like I have sunburn on my throat and collarbone and the area right underneath. So I had some eggs and coffee. Food seems to be my answer to everything lately! Then of course I called my sister who told me to call my doctor. I called my mom, who told me to call my doctor. So I called my doctor and apparently all this is quite normal and I need to quit my whining and take an Aleve for the pain and drink more water.

So that's what I did today. I just laid around and sat around reading and playing computer games. I tried to go sit outside again today like I did yesterday but even though the sun was out there was a really cool breeze so I had to come back inside. Now I'm just killing time posting this til American Idol comes on because for some reason this week it's on Wednesday and Thursday instead of Tuesday and Wednesday.

I also wanted to share with you how wonderful my brother Fred is. I will admit, there have been many, many, many, MANY! times in my life that I have wanted to kill him. But Fred has always been there to help me or my kids. He's the one the insisted on coming to my surgery because as he put it, "Sometimes you don't wake up from surgery."Comforting, no?

Well he called me a bit ago to see how I was feeling and I whined cause really what else can I do? And who deserves the right to whine more than someone who has cancer? I know, me huh? So he told me that he had bought me some Pixy Stix and Sweetarts and he would bring them by my house and hang them on the mailbox and run for the hills before I nuked him :0)

And he did. And the greatest thing is that he knows what my favorite candies are. He actually somewhere along the way stored that little tidbit about me in his sweet little head. And...he also threw in a bag of California Gourmet all natural macadamia nuts! I love macadamia nuts! I'm debating saving them to bake at a later date into cookies that I can share with my dear little brother, or I could just open the bag and toss a bunch into a bowl of vanilla ice cream.

Want to make bets on which one I'm going to do?
Thank you Fred, You're the Best!

Captivity ~ Day Two

Today started out pretty good, but it's not ending up so great.

I got up fairly early and decided I would do a super duper job of cleaning my house so that I could enjoy being in it the rest of the week. I had Frosted Flakes and Bananas and toast for breakfast. I had really been craving cereal mostly because it dairy products were on my list of foods I couldn't eat prior to the radioactive iodine treatment. It was yummy!

So then I proceeded to put towels in to wash. I sorted through my bowls and put a ton of them in the yard sale pile and just kept the ones I really use or really love. I have a thing about bowls you see. I did dishes and cleaned the top of my fridge which was icky and where does that stuff come from? I don't find it anywhere in my whole kitchen, only on top of the fridge. It's sticky and greasy and brown and yucky! I sprayed it with Windex while I did the dishes and it came right off slicker than snot!

So I swept and mopped my kitchen and dusted my living room and knick knacks and then went to go vacuum but my vacuum cleaner bag was full and I threw it away because I knew I had another one, but alas, I didn't! I called my sister to see if she would go out into the real world. The real world that I am banished from, during her lunch hour and see if she could get me a Size U Eureka bag. She told me that she just sticks her hand in the little hole and dumps out all the stuff inside and pulls it out with her hands (and then she wonders why she has allergies?). And I'm thinking how disgusting and cheap. I mean between her and her husband they easily make over $230,000,000 per year...Lisa, you can afford a vacuum cleaner bag! (Well maybe not now because she bought them for me, so there goes $1/2 a mil!)

So since I didn't have a vacuum cleaner I Sharked my house. Then I prepared myself a lovely lunch of a Tuna Fish Sandwich with tuna, lettuce (cut up like my brother Fred cuts it), Chopped jalapenos, sweet pickle relish, mayo, Lawry's Seasoning Salt and Black pepper. Mmmmm, it was so delish. And I took it out onto my patio because the sun was shining and bluebirds were building nests in my tree and bees were buzzing and I had my New Moon by Stephenie Meyer book to read and it was sooooooooo wonderful. My first thought when I sat down and felt the sun warm my skin was, "Life is Good, when you have Cancer". Weird I know, but every cloud has a silver lining right? Otherwise, how do we get through the day?

Well so far your probably wondering how a day this wonderful could end badly. Well after lunch and after doing another load of towels, I started getting really cold and tried to take a nap on the couch but it wasn't warm enough so I turned on the electric blanket in my bed and lied down to read and I took a brief nap. Well when I woke up my throat really HURT. Not inside, like a normal sore throat, but outside, under my ears and chin, like someone had tried to choke me while I was napping. And my throat was a little swollen right under my chin.

So I got up and sucked on a lemon, thinking that maybe the radioactive iodine wasn't supposed to be there and sucking on a lemon activates your salivary glands and I was hoping that would help. It didn't, so I ate a banana and watch tv. And about an hour ago I checked my neck again and now there's like this lump the size of a goiter at the base of my throat right above the section where your collar bone meets.

So I WebMD'd and googled and I guess it's normal, but now I'm scared its going to stay that way forever (although I know it's not) and I'm sucking lemons like a crazy person and drinking so much water I may as well sleep on the toilet and well I took an Aleve and ate another tuna sandwich and sat down to post this and if you don't hear from me tomorrow it will be because the lump kept growing and eventually blocked off my breathing tube and I died. Ok, so that's not really going to happen, but now you have to come back tomorrow just to see if I lived right?

Day One in Captivity

This does not bode well for me. It's only day one...and not even a full day because I got home at 4pm and it's only 6:35. So it's day one and already I'm fantasizing and writing about men I love! But then who doesn't love Matt? I mean really!

Anyway...why captivity? What the heck am I talking about? Well today was day one of the I-131 Ablation Radioactive Iodine Treatment for my Thyroid Cancer. About June of 2008 during a routine breast exam my doctor noticed a lump in my throat...it turned into a whole ordeal and you can read about it here and here and here and also right here. There's gory details, pictures and fun for all! Yipee!

So part of the treatment for Thyroid Cancer, besides ripping the thyroid right out of you is this radioactive iodine treatment. And that's what I had done today.

Leading up to today, I've been off of the medication, Synthyroid (a pill I will have to take every single day for the rest of my life) for about 6 weeks. They take you off of it and then have to wait for it all to be out of your system and for something called a TSH level to be at 30. So that means that every day that your off your pill you get sicker and sicker and sicker...ain't thyroid cancer grand?

I was actually kind of lucky in that I didn't get very sick, but then again my TSH level didn't get as high as they wanted as quickly as they wanted. The first blood test I took put my TSH level at 19.2, then 2 weeks later it was at 22.4. About this time they were looking to other options, such as two injections that would make me really sick, really fast and raise my TSH level to where it needed to be...luckily this wasn't necessary as the 3rd time was the charm and the 3rd blood test showed my level to be at 37.77. I took that blood test on Thursday, last week and on Friday I had an appointment with my Endocrinologist, Dr. Catania.

Dr. Catania was thrilled that my level was where it was and said we need to get this done A-SAP, how bout Monday? Wow, I wasn't ready for that...but then again I was because on of the side effects that I did experience in getting sicker and sicker was an intense itching all over and in different areas of my body. Like say my wrist would itch, it would just itch like the biggest mosquito in the world had bitten me and I would scratch it. The second I scratch these little welts and bumps show up and then it itches even more and I scratch or rub or dab Cortaid on it and then it just stops...and starts all over again...someplace else, Arghhhhhhhhhh!

So that's what I was up to today. I went to a Radiologist who took some readings of my body with a Geiger counter. I think that was just in case I was born radioactive they would know how high the radioactiveness I normally am would be measured before they nuked me some more. They then took me into this little lead lined room, about the size of a small walk in closet and there's a little item that looks like a Size D battery and the top comes off and the little pill is inside and no one but you can touch it! They just turn the little holder that is aptly named Lil Piglet over and the radioactive capsule about the size of a Contac cold capsule comes out and they give you a glass of water and you suck it down. I tried to locate a photo of a Lil Piglet or Lil Pig and you can google radioactive iodine holder and see a photo of it but when you click on it...it mysteriously says Webpage cannot be found, hmmmm.

I even went so far as to type in Nuclear Supplies and was unable to open any of those websites either, but I expect the FBI or the CIA or the FTC or some lettered agency to break my door down any minute and arrest me! So I best hurry to finish this post.

Anyway, they send my radioactive ass merrily on it's way telling me not to dilly dally in the waiting room, huh? what? huh? Dilly dally? in the waiting room? I've never done that even when I wasn't radioactive.

So I drive home and for the next 7 days...I have to remain locked up here. Dismissed, unwanted and unloved by all humanity :0(

So I'm gonna have lots and lots and lots and did I mention LOTS of time to blog...lucky you, my faithful readers. That means you April and Lisa!

Stay tuned....

Broccoli Salad

So as mentioned in the previous post, my contribution to the office Halloween party was Broccoli Salad. I got this recipe from a good friend named Stacie. She really didn't want to share it because everywhere she went that's what she took and she always got tons of compliments. I had to promise and swear that I would never take the dish to the same event she was going to. And I haven't, especially since now she's living in San Diego and I never see her anymore!

Here's the ingredients first. The only thing missing is the sugar because I couldn't reach the Sugar container when I was taking the pictures. But don't forget the sugar, that's what makes this salad.

Here's the salad all put together. It tastes much better if you let it sit overnight, but if you can't wait, it still tastes great the second you make it. I love this stuff!

Since I wanted to save my appetite for the salad for the next day I had to make something for myself for dinner that night and that's what this next picture is. I made myself a Frito Chip Salad. It's kind of like a fancy Frito Boat that you can get at a high school football game.

It's super simple and no real recipe is needed. You just open up your favorite can of chili beans or chili with no beans, up to you. You dice up some lettuce, some tomatoes and some black olives. Place Frito's in a plate or bowl, pour heated chili over them, top with shredded cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and olives and your favorite salsa. I like Pace Picante Sauce, medium hot and I like to place the whole bottle in the blender and grind it up. Then just dig in. Simple, fast and sooooo good!

And now here's the recipe for the Broccoli Salad...Enjoy!

Broccoli Salad

1 large head broccoli

1 med onion chopped finely

1 c. grated cheddar cheese (I use medium)

1/2 lb. bacon cooked & chopped (I cheat and buy the package of bacon pieces, see the photo above)

Dressing:

1 c. mayonnaise

2 Tbl Vinegar (You can use fancy flavored or wine vinegar, but I use plain old distilled vinegar and that works just fine)

1/2 c. sugar (Important point, you can also use Splenda if your watching your weight or are diabetic or just want to eat healthier)

Method: Grate cheese (unless you're like me and bought pre-shredded cheese, again see picture above). Chop the onion and cut the broccoli into small pieces, you will want to slice the stem portion really thin. Combine the ingredients for the dressing and pour over the salad ingredients. Mix Well.

You can also add any other veggies you like such as tomatoes, black olives (hmmm, are those a veggie?) or cucumbers.

What? Surgery again?

Yep, that's right, dammit! I haven't even finished completing my harrowing tale of the last surgery and Monday when I went to the doctor he told me he has to do the surgery again and take out the whole thyroid and the rest of the masses that are there. I think there are three. He said the lab results show that it is cancerous so it's all got to come out. And my incision from the last time was just starting to heal!!!

So here I go again! Tomorrow at 7am it all starts again. At least this time I know what I'm getting into. Last time I was pretty worried about pain afterwards and how bad it would be, but now I know about those happy drugs that they give you in the hospital!

Well, I guess we'll just have to wait til I get back home and then hopefully I can finish the tale of the last surgery and start in on the new one.

Is My Energy Level Back? (Part One)

I've noticed for the last few months that my energy level had just dwindled away to nothing. It was all I could do to get through the work day. The only thing I looked forward to was napping on the couch. My biggest joke was to tell family and friends that I had to get home in time to take a nap before going to bed. I know they all thought I was kidding, but I was totally serious.

I figured the reason for this dramatic drop in my energy level was old age, well...ok, not old old age, just being older. I turned 50 this year and when I first went to my doctor for a complete physical I kept telling her about all the aches and pains and tiredness and she pretty much just blamed it all on my age. But...covering her butt I'm sure, she ordered a ton of tests.

One test she performed in her office was a breast exam prior to sending me to get a mammogram. During the breast exam, she noticed that I had a lump in my throat on the left side and she felt it and then had me feel it. I had not noticed it and I don't normally make it a habit to exam my own body that thoroughly, so I while I was scared she had found it, I was also happy that she had as my mom and dad have both had nodules in their throats and my mom's actually turned out to be cancerous and she had to have her complete thyroid removed.

My doctor immediately sent me to get some blood work, but that all came back negative, so she sent me for an ultrasound. That was such a relaxing test. I laid in a bed in a dark room and the technician just massaged my neck over and over with the ultrasound thingy which looked like a computer mouse with wires and things attached to project images to the screen. It was like getting a massage on my whole neck. But unfortunately that test wasn't conclusive.

The next test was one that took two days. I had to go in the first day and they had me fill out some paperwork, I was fasting and they gave me some pills to take that contained some kind of radioactive iodine, then I went back to work and didn't eat until lunch time. The next day I went back and they did some kind of test where I laid under this big flat metal plate for a long, long time. I got scared thinking that if there was an earthquake this thing would squish me and everyone would run off and forget all about me and I would just lay there squished until I couldn't breath and I would die. I'm such an optimist aren't I?

Well this test was also inconclusive for cancer but it did let the doctor know that I had three nodules on my left side and one on the right (although no one told me about the one on the right until my meeting with the actual surgeon).

So the next test was a fine needle biopsy of the nodules, which the doctor didn't tell me much about, her office basically just made the appointment and I didn't ask very many questions. I'm of the opinion that what I don't know...can't hurt me. This really drove my sister Lisa crazy during this time as she was the only one that knew what I was going through and then I didn't even have the answers to all her questions. Thank God for the worldwide web. We did a lot of research.

We looked up fine needle biopsy and in this test, they numbed the area on my left side of my throat and the put a needle in my throat 3 times to draw out some tissue to have it tested. It didn't hurt, but the last needle was a little bit uncomfortable. I watched the whole thing on a screen and it kind of looked to me like when they do liposuction on people. The doctor just jabbed the needle roughly back and forth. I guess that was to loosen the tissue, I don't know.

Anyway, after this test I had the worst sore throat I have ever had in my life. I didn't know right away it would hurt as I was still numbed, so I went to work. But when it hit...OH MY, it hurt. Not so much that people at work noticed or that I had to go home, but then I'm a toughie. This pain lasted for more than a month, by the way.

Ok, so this last test was also inconclusive. The doctor who did the fine needle biopsy said he was almost positive that there was no cancer. My own doctor told me she didn't think there was any cancer, but that she wanted them out anyway due to the family history of thyroid cancer and the fact that the nodules continue to grow and they can block your airway. In my own research of all this, I found that another one of the symptoms was energy loss, tiredness. So I wasn't just old, I was sick!

I was referred to a surgeon who told me that he didn't think there was cancer, but that he was going to go ahead and remove the three nodules on the left side and also remove the left side of the thyroid. He also said that while I was still under, he was going to send a sample to pathology and if it looked like cancer then he was going to remove the nodule on the right side and the complete thyroid, but if not he would just remove the right side nodule. He scheduled surgery for August 21st, 2008.

At this point, I figured it was time to tell my family.
End of Part One...stay tuned for Part Two...the surgery.