Adventures in Funeral Service

Several years ago I worked for a funeral home. I have to say it was one of my most favorite jobs ever! I know! You wouldn't think so would you? But of all the jobs that I've ever had that was the only one where I ever felt that my being there really made a difference to someone, to whole families.

I remember the interview like it was yesterday, talk about being nervous. But the interview was nothing compared to my first day on the job. I remember coming in through the garage where the hearses were parked. I know...hearses! Can you imagine seeing hearses every single day?

But wait...that was nothing. I walked in trying to squeeze past the hearses and I look to my right into the open door and I see a very sterile white room that looked like a doctor's office. In this room I see a gurney and on the gurney I see a  body laying there very quietly. Of course this person was very quiet, this person was dead!
Trust me...I thought, "What am I doing here?"

I took a deep breath and thought about my kids and how I needed this job so I could be close to them and close to their schools and I kept on walking into the office. And every day it got easier.

I was never really thrilled about the embalming room and tried not to go into there very often, although there were times that I had to go in there when there was no one else to help the embalmer. Sometimes it was just to steady the body to position it into the casket, sometimes it was to help load the casket into the back of the hearse.

I have to give credit to the embalmers though, to them it wasn't just a job, it was a calling. They took such pride in their jobs and I saw them take bodies that had been mutilated and transforming them so that their loved ones could see them and touch them...one last time.

There are jobs that none of us want to do and then there are those that do them. Like embalmers who face death head on every day. So the next time you are at a funeral home for visitation, remember that someone treated that person laying in the casket like that person was someones father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, sister, brother, whatever that person was, they don't think of that person as a scary dead body, but as someones loved one.

Inspired by a real-life murder that threatened to topple the powerful Hapsburg dynasty in the 17th century, The Bloodletter's Daughter imagines how one young woman holds more power than she thought possible. Join From Left to Write on September 25 as we discuss the The Bloodletter's Daughter. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

YW in Excellence: Seek the Sweet

This past Wednesday, we had the opportunity 

to celebrate the young women in our ward with a night of excellence. 

As we began to plan out the big night, the girls were pretty adamant

that they wanted an "original theme"...

As they put it...."Something that did not revolve around Princesses & Queens"...

(ha ha, kind of made me laugh. I guess that clearly explains the group of young women we have.)

Anyways, with a little brainstorming, and a lot of pinteresting,

we decided upon the theme "Seek the Sweet"...

A "Candy Theme" that focused on all things "sweet" to the young and their lives. 

Honestly, I was a little worried about the theme, but it turned out ADORABLE. 

Below are some ideas that we used, as well as a program outline and topics discussed!

We sure had a lot of fun with it--- so feel free to use and share! 

We decided that in order to keep the theme uniform, 

we wanted to use the color combination of yellow and pink. 

It worked out great since Carley had recently had a wedding with yellow in it

 and were able to use a lot of items from the reception. . 

We were able to pull the old yellow doors as a backdrop plus the fun yellow accessories. 

Because the theme was "Seek the Sweet"

we wanted to have a huge refreshment table filled with "sweet treats".

We had lemonade cupcakes, pink sugar cookies, cake pops, 

candy dishes with star bursts, chocolate pretzels, pineapple licorice, fruties, lemon heads, etc.

Above are the invitations I designed.

We kept them simple and again, coordinated them to the fun yellow and pink theme

We took the invitation that I designed an blew it up to put at the front of the room.

We matted it on foam core and placed it on a giant easel.

It really tied the whole room together. 

My sister was gracious enough to help make the cake balls for the evening. 

They were SUCH a big hit and turned out to be scrumptious!

Also, prior to the evening, the girls helped out making some of the decorations

(helped stick together invitations, make the flag banners, etc).

They also learned how to make these fun flowers out of tissue. 

We all thought they turned out super cute (they actually looked just like cotton candy),

and really added to the theme. 

My mom was also super helpful! She helped me throw together some of the cute cupcakes. 

They were lemonade flavor, so she threw on some cute pink and white straws, 

yellow shimmery sprinkles, and topped them off with a lemonhead. 

The cookies that my mother-in-law helped out with also turned out adorable. 

She topped them off with a pink glaze and them swirled them with a white frosting 

(making them looking like lollopops). 

Seriously, if you can't already tell, the details were perfect, and everything was TOO cute!

We also created these cute balloon candies out of balloons and cellophane. 

We had about 15 or so and hung them up over the refreshment table and head of the room.

They added to the theme of the room. 

Finally we made a bunch of "balloon lollipops" out of balloons, cellophane, and wooden dowels. 

They were super simple, and just finished the room off. 

For the program, we wanted to get ALL the girls involved. 

We had a few of the girls participate in musical numbers, assist with opening exercises, and conduct. 

We also wanted some of the girls to speak and share their testimonies, 

so we assigned each of the girls to talk about a certain value. 

Their talks were titled as follows...

"The Sweetness of Faith"
"The Sweetness of Divine Nature"

"The Sweetness of Individual Worth"

"The Sweetness of Knowledge"

"The Sweetness of Choice and Accountability"

"The Sweetness of Good Works"

"The Sweetness of "Integrity"

"The Sweetness of "Virtue"

Honestly, this was one of my favorite parts of the night.

The girls each spent about 3 minutes just talking about why that particular value was "sweet" to them.

They were so sincere and thoughtful. 

I know I have said this like a bagillion times, 

but I need to take a moment to mention how much those girls mean to me.

I am so proud of them and SO grateful to be able to associate with them.

They are such a strength to me. They make me want to be a better person.

I love them and can't wait to see how many people's lives they affect with their sweet examples. 

Following their talks, I briefly took the time to talk about 

"Seeking the Sweet".

I started my talk about talking about the "Sweetest things" I had experienced in my life 

(IE: My mom's baptism cake, canadian chocolate, tres leche on my mission, and pastries from France).

I briefly transitioned by talking about how while all of those items were very memorable, 

(and that I often craved them),

 none of them were as sweet as the love of my Heavenly Father. 

I briefly touched on how Heavenly Father has so many "Sweet" blessings in store for the young women. 

I then explained that I wanted to talk about 3 things the girls could do to "Seek the Sweet" in their lives. 

Here are the topics that I choose to cover...

All in all, the night turned out to be a real success. 

One of my other favorite things that we did, that I didn't take pictures of,

is had display for each of the girls to show their talents and personal progress accomplishments.

You can click here to download some of the images I created

Again, feel free to use any of the ideas and leave your comments!

The idea was originally taken from funkypolkadotgiraffe.blogspot.com

Ang Panginoon ang aking pastol (Bukas Pulad)

Refrain:

Ang Panginoon ang aking pastol
Pinagiginhawa akong lubos

Handog niyang himlaya’y sariwang pastulan
Ang pahingaan ko’y payapang batisan,
Hatid sa kalul’wa ay kaginhawahan,
Sa tumpak na landas, Siya ang patnubay. (Refrain)

Madilim na lambak man ang tatahakin ko,
Wala aking sindak, Siya’y kasama ko.
Ang hawak niyang tungkod ang siyang gabay ko.
Tangan niyang pamalo, sigla’t tanggulan ko. (Refrain)

Inihahandog Niya sa akin 'sang dulang
Maging sa harap man ng aking mga kaaway
Kasiyahan Niyang ulo ko'y langisan,
Saro ko'y punuin hanggang sa umapaw. (Refrain)

Kagandahang loob, pawang kabutihan
Ang tanging kasunod ng buhay kong taglay
Doon sa tahanan ng Poong Maykapal
Nais kong manahan magpakailanman. (Refrain)

Paraphrase of Psalm 23

Text: D. Isidro, SJ
Music: Felipe Fruto Ll. Ramirez, SJ

Ang Panginoon ang aking pastol (Taizé)

Refrain:

Ang Panginoon ang aking pastol
Pinagiginhawa akong lubos

Handog niyang himlaya’y sariwang pastulan
Ang pahingaan ko’y payapang batisan,
Hatid sa kalul’wa ay kaginhawahan,
Sa tumpak na landas, Siya ang patnubay. (Refrain)

Madilim na lambak man ang tatahakin ko,
Wala aking sindak, Siya’y kasama ko.
Ang hawak niyang tungkod ang siyang gabay ko.
Tangan niyang pamalo, sigla’t tanggulan ko. (Refrain)

Inihahandog Niya sa akin 'sang dulang
Maging sa harap man ng aking mga kaaway
Kasiyahan Niyang ulo ko'y langisan,
Saro ko'y punuin hanggang sa umapaw. (Refrain)

Kagandahang loob, pawang kabutihan
Ang tanging kasunod ng buhay kong taglay
Doon sa tahanan ng Poong Maykapal
Nais kong manahan magpakailanman. (Refrain)

Paraphrase of Psalm 23

Text: D. Isidro, SJ
Music: Felipe Fruto Ll. Ramirez, SJ

See my other blog postings in the "Taizé" series of chants.

Official Taizé Community Website

Wikipedia information on the Taizé Community
- in French
- in English

My Little Buddy...

It's this little guy's birthday today.

{Well, I guess he isn't THAT little anymore.}

Anyways, I just wanted to give a shout-out to my buddy!

Cade-O...

I will never forget when Mom told me I was going to have a third little sibling,

I prayed and prayed I would get another sister. 

Boy did those feeling change when I held you for the first time.

I cried like a baby.

I was SO full of love for you, and things have never changed. 

Buddy--- can't believe you are 14 big ones. 

You are turning into quite the man and I love it. 

It's weird having to look up to you know,

and to be honest, I look up to you in more ways than one. 

Thanks for always making me laugh,

for making me feel good about myself,

for watching stupid shows with me,

for sharing my love for popcorn,

and more than anything--- thanks for just being who you are.

I love you little man!

x (little kiss)

O (BIG HUG)

X (BIG KISS)

o (little hug)

coco

To everything there is a season...

Yesterday was just an awesome day. 

For all you out there living in the Orem/Provo area, 

I am sure you enjoyed, like me, watching the regional stake conference.

Wasn't it just awesome?

There were several moments where I felt like Heavenly Father was talking directly to me. 

Speaking of which--- I am getting so excited for general conference. 

Can I just say how inspired the leaders of the church truly are?

After a session of awesome talks and feelings of inspiration, 

Brett and I decided to head up fork canyon.

Boy were we ever greeted by a beautiful mountainside. 

If you haven't been up the canyon recently...GO. Like now.

It is simply stunning. We were both in awe over the gorgeous changing colors. 

It was a great reminder to us both what a loving Heavenly Father we have 

to have blessed us with so much surrounding beauty. 

One of the talks that had the greatest impact on me was given by

one of the Twelve Apostles, Elder Dallin H. Oaks. 

(To learn more about the living prophet and apostles, visit lds.org). 

I especially appreciated the end of his talk.

His message was so simple, yet so true. 

The Lord loves all His children--- and desires them to have a full abundance of His blessings...

on HIS timing.

I don't know--- the message just hit really close to home. 

Sometimes I find myself trying to impose MY timetable on the Lord.

I tend to think I "know it all" and know what's best for me and our family. 

Once again, I have a lot to learn. 

I appreciated how Elder oaks emphasized how we cannot have TRUE faith in the Lord

without having complete trust in his timing. 

I am learning this is one of the most difficult parts of having faith. 

That the WHEN is just as important as the WHAT. 

Again, what a great and simple reminder.

Below is one of my favorite statements made by Elder Oaks at the conference. 

I quickly re-created the statement. Enjoy!

Scatter Sunshine

This past week for mutual we had a really fun night.

The idea was to create a original activity based on service. 

The young women and men came up with an idea to have a "Service Scavenger Hunt."

The youth were split into teams with 1 leader (about 4-5 per group), 

and given a list of tasks with coordinating point values. 

Here is the list that I created... feel free to use!

The activity turned out to be a blast.

Not only that--- it was a real eye opener. 

At first the kids were in a rush to get from house to house 

(trying to accumulate the maximum amount of points), 

but by the end, they were doing extra tasks at the home...

 just because.

After the activity, we pulled the youth together

 to hear their experiences with the service expedition.

It was awesome to hear how touched the youth were

 to hear things from the people they were serving like, 

"You just made my day..." or  "You have no idea how much this means..."

I think all in all, it was a great reminder of 

the impact the smallest acts of service can produce. 

It was an awesome activity and I would definitely recommend it!

Viešpatie, tu viską žinai (Taizé)

Viešpatie, tu viską žinai. 
Tu žinai, kad tave myliu.


See also the Chinese version - 上主祢知悉我所有

See my other blog postings in the "Taizé" series of chants.

Official Taizé Community Website

Wikipedia information on the Taizé Community
- in French
- in English

Let All Who Are Thirsty, Come (Taizé)

Let all who are thirsty come.
Let all who wish receive the water of live freely.
Amen, come Lord Jesus.
Amen, come Lord Jesus.

See my other blog postings in the "Taizé" series of chants.

Official Taizé Community Website

Wikipedia information on the Taizé Community
- in French
- in English

Jésus, ma joie (Taizé)

Jésus, ma joie,
mon espérance et ma vie,
ma joie,
mon espérance et ma vie.

See my other blog postings in the "Taizé" series of chants.

Official Taizé Community Website

Wikipedia information on the Taizé Community
- in French
- in English

Hvalite imia Gospodnie (Taizé)

Music: Dimitry Arzumanov

See my other blog postings in the "Taizé" series of chants.

Official Taizé Community Website

Wikipedia information on the Taizé Community
- in French
- in English

Adding a little "Tender Lovin' Care"

I was so excited when Carley called me up tonight to come check out her new house.

Heaven knows I love that girl, and am THRILLED to spend any second I get with her.

Can I just say how much I love having a married sister?

With Trent away, we decided to take advantage of the time to add 

some good ol' tender loving care to the home. 

We both felt that the decorations turned out really cute! 

More than anything we shared a lot of good laughs together.

Gosh I love that girl! How blessed am I to have such a great sister?!

Carley had a lot of wall space and A LOT of frames.

We decided to double up on some of the frames.

We both really liked the way it added volume and color to the wall. 

We found this old teal doorknob and mounted it on one of Carley's old frames.

We also decided to update the actual knob with a crystal.

We found all these large frames at a second hand store.

On the opposite side we found a cute frame with a round center.

In that frame we mounted an old set of keys.

It had a cute nostalgic look to it, which we both really loved. 

These were some throw pillows I had made for Carley awhile back.

We both just LOVE the mixing and matching of patterns.

They added a sense of fun and color to the room.

Here is another picture of the way we doubled up on the frames.

Granted, we did spend like an hour hanging frames to get it "just right"

(we shared a few struggles during the processes)

but all in all, we both thought the room turned out cute!

What a fun and unexpected night!

Thanks Carley for allowing me to come spend some lovin time with you!

I certainly had a blast! 

So call me maybe...

One of the things the girls requested in our young women group

was a directory with everyone's contact information in it. 

After gathering all the information, I created these page dividers 

to help add some "cuteness" to the directory. 

In between each of these dividers we provided a list of the class contact information

and gave a copy to each of the girls in young women.

I think they turned out pretty cute, and are going to be a great tool 

going forward to help improve the communication in our young women organization! 

Feel free to use the dividers! 

Raising a Boy

You've all heard the saying, "Mother's of little boys work from SON up til SON down"? Never was that saying more fitting than when it comes to describing raising my son. My son was rambunctious and rowdy right from the beginning. He was born to fight his way through life. He even fought being born, choosing to come out butt first and having to be born through a C-section! Never was that saying more fitting than in describing raising my boy.

Here you see me fresh from the hospital holding my little bundle of joy. You can see the exhaustion in my face and the pain. C-sections are not easy, especially when you go through a long labor with a breech baby for hours and hours before the c-section.




My son was a good baby though, slept through the night almost immediately and ate well and was healthy and happy. We loved him to pieces, especially his sister.

I was fortunate that I got to stay home with him for the first two years of his life, after that I had to go back to work and had to rely on daycare. That's when the problems started. My son was VERY active and it was difficult for him to just sit and listen to a story or color or play with blocks. He had to be constantly moving so when he had to sit quietly his hands would wander and he would pull a girls hair or poke another child, anything to keep from just sitting quietly. We must have gone through seven or eight different daycare places before it was time for him to go to school.

We hoped that starting Kindergarten would be the end of the daycare problems, but they just continued on in school. There was not a day that he didn't get sent home with a note from the teacher for some reason or another. He had a journal that he would bring home every day where the teacher would right a sentence or two about his day. Every day was the same thing, "unable to sit still", "unable to keep his mouth quiet", "doesn't stay on task", "fights with the other children"...and on and on.

His dad was not as forgiving as I and it seemed like my son was constantly being punished and put in "time-out" by his dad. As he got older it was being grounded and having to stay in his room constantly with no TV, no books, nothing to do but sit on the edge of his bed. Torture for a child that can't stop moving! His dad and I were miles apart in our theory of how to raise him.

Finally things came to a head between his dad and I and we divorced, leaving me alone to raise my troubled but loving and beautiful little boy!

Things at school escalated. I met numerous times with teachers and principals and counselors and therapists and psychologists and doctors. The school called me every day to come and straighten out some problem with my son. I recall one time they called me to tell me that my son refused to leave his desk to go to the Principal's office after making a little girl cry. I watched through the window as they tried to convince him to go to the Principal's office and he just gripped his desk with those little arms and fingers and refused. The only way they could have gotten him to go would be if they had broken his fingers or his arms. The teacher, principal and janitor came out and they asked me to sign a paper that would allow them to pick up my son's desk, boy and all and carry it to the Principal's office. I was at a point where I didn't know what to do so I said ok and signed their paper. That is just one example.

And it wasn't just at school, I had problems with him at home also. I remember one Saturday outing with my son, my mom and myself. We went to do a little shopping and stopped to grab a bite to eat at a Wendy's restaurant. At some point inside the restaurant while we were eating my son got upset and said he wanted the keys to the car so he could wait in the car. He was about 8 years old at this time and I told him no, he could sit there quietly and wait for his grandmother and I to finish. He said no and walked out. My mom wanted to leave right away but I told her no, let's finish our meal, he will be back in a little bit, where is he going to go?

We finished and went out to the car assuming he would be standing by the car...but he wasn't. I walked around the building then to the stores in the area and down the block calling him. He was no where to be found. By this time I was in a panic and called the police. The police came and questioned me and my mom and radioed other officers to be on the lookout for him. About an hour later a California Highway Patrol officer found him. The CHP office had been getting reports of a little boy crossing Highway 99, a heavily traveled 3-lane highway! When the police finally caught up with him he was 5 miles from the Wendys!

The officer that brought him back to me was very nice and said "You're going to have to keep this kid on a short leash because he has no concept of what is right and what is wrong." This was a big wake up call for me!

Doctor's and therapists had been telling me they wanted to put my son on medication, on Ritalin for ADHD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, I finally agreed, I didn't know what else to do.

Did Ritalin help my son? Well it calmed him down and made it easier for teachers and the other students to deal with him. It made it easier for him to concentrate and learn, but he hated it. He hated the way it made him feel. He would beg me not to make him take the meds and promised me that he would be good. A few times I tried sending him to school without the medication and the school would call me and know right away he had not take his medication and they asked me to come and give it to him. This is how I remember my son on Ritalin...

Did I do the right thing in medicating him? I'll never know. Will I always feel guilty that I had to resort to Ritalin to try to make my child behave, definitely. I know that I did what I felt was best, but that guilt will always be there in the back of my mind.

The good thing is that when he started junior high school he refused to take it any more and said he was going to force himself to be good...and he did. Ritalin is a thing of the past for my son, but the memory of my son's glazed eyes and swollen little face will never be erased from my mind and my heart.

This post was inspired by the book, January First, A Child's Descent into Madness and Her Father's Struggle to Save Her.

 

How far would you go to advocate for your child? In January First, father Michael Shofield and his family struggle to find the right treatment for his daughter Jani, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia at six years old. Join From Left to Write in September as we discuss the Shofield's memoir January First. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

It's the Final Countdown

The time before we move to Arizona is really inching down.

We only have 8 months of school left.

Did I type that right?

8 Months.

Good grief.

As Brett and i sat down yesterday, we decided to create some new goals before we make the big move. 

We have a big year ahead of us and we felt it important to have a vision. 

For those of you who know me, you know that I LOVE goals.

I get a high from accomplishing things that I might have thought impossible. 

I have learned and grown so much from setting goals in my life.

I have also learned, that if I do not write down my goals 

(or keep them in a place I can see daily)--- I unfortunately, do not achieve them.

As we set our goals yesterday, 

we both realized we needed to put them somewhere we would see them daily. 

Brett had the great idea of using magnets to put them on our garage door.

This is a place we see DAILY.

We both knew it would be a place for a great reminder. 

What a team we are!

Brett came up with the awesome idea, and I put it to work

 by creating some cute icons to remind us of our vision. 

Here is how it turned out!

Obviously we knew that we would have people over, and some of our goals are very personal.

With those particular goals, we created special and secret codes with icons that only we know. 

I think it turned out pretty darn cute!

And more than that, it has truly pumped us up to accomplish these goals!

High on a Mountain Top

For Labor Day, we decided that we wanted to visit the Brigham City Temple open house.

We were happy to be joined by Gary and Michelle.

I think we all were thinking that because it was Labor Day, the open house would be less crowded

(due to people BBQing, being with family, etc).

Definitely NOT the case.

It was packed to say the least (lines wrapping around the temple).

Regardless, it sure was a neat experience, and awesome to experience the beauty and spirit of the temple. 

For me personally, it brought back a flood of memories from the mission. 

During my mission I had the opportunity to participate and serve in the Gila Valley temple open house.

There is no other way of putting it than, it was truly a sacred and unforgettable experience. 

As I was walking through the temple,

 I thought a lot about what the temple has meant to me and my life. 

Serving in the Gila Valley temple open house, taking classes about the temple at BYU, 

working in the Provo and Timpanogos temples as an ordinance worker, 

being sealed in the temple for time and all eternity, 

attending the temple regularly as a patron...

Every moment I am in the temple, I can feel the blessings being placed POURED upon me. 

It made me begin to think how fortunate and blessed 

I have been to have gained so man blessings from Lord's house. 

It has strengthened my personal testimony and faith.

It has brought me closer to my sweet spouse. 

It has taught me more about Heavenly Father's plan.

It has helped me to find hope in times of sorrow.

It has helped me to better understand gospel principles.

It has made me a better person.

Honestly, I can't put into words how grateful and special the temple is to me and my life.

It is a great symbol and reminder in my life--- 

A reminder of who I am 

and a symbol of where I want to be. 

Wow. Just overwhelms me a little. 

Anyways, even though the grounds were quite crowded, 

we all really enjoyed our time together and the sweet beauty of the temple. 

To learn more about why we build temples, visit mormon.org

Memories of High School or I wish I had known I was THIN!

This weekend I did a lot of Spring Cleaning even though we are still in the hot clutches of the summer sun! I found lots of pictures that brought back lots of old memories.

For instance, I found this picture of me at my Senior Prom. This had to be in 1976. I remember this day well as I had butterflies all day.

I must have tried on 500 dresses and none of them made me happy because I was SO FAT! Seriously...I thought I was fat. Isn't that sad because now looking at this picture I realize what my mom always told me, that I wasn't fat, that I was the same size as all my friends!

What I wouldn't give to be this size again!

Do you remember your Prom? Do you remember shopping for dresses?

I was lucky, I loved this dress and the young man that took me was one of the sweetest guys in the world and we had a blast!

Ahhh high school...one of the best times of my life!

Retourne, mon âme, à ton repos (Taizé)

Retourne, mon âme, à ton repos
car le Seigneur t'a fait du bien.
Il a gardé mon âme de la mort.
Il essuiera pour tou jours les larmes de nos yeux.

Return, my soul, to your rest.
For the Lord has been good to you.
He rescued my soul from death.
He will wipe away every tear from our eyes.

See my other blog postings in the "Taizé" series of chants.

Official Taizé Community Website

Wikipedia information on the Taizé Community
- in French
- in English