Finding our Path

So this is one of those posts that i have probably written five times over...

and I think it is about time that i finally get it out on paper.... err whatever you call this here blog.

Over this past week I have felt a wide range of emotions....

(if you aren't familiar with our story, we are preparing to move down to Arizona in June 

and just spent the past week looking for homes and a place to move when Brett graduates)

At moments I felt excited and other times I felt scared and worried.

 I felt oober blessed and then nervous about all the changes that are coming.

Since knowing each other, Brett and I have set our share of goals together... 

and they all revolved around one vision --- getting Brett through school.

This has been so important to us because we both knew that in order to accomplish even more goals in the future

 (starting & supporting a family, serving lots and lots of missions together, giving our time to the Lord, etc)

we would need a sturdy foundation--- and it all started with a good job and education for Brett.

I'm not gonna lie, it's taken some sacrifice and a whole lot of blessings to get us to this point.

The fact that Brett will be graduating this April and us both moving down to AZ in June is....well....

SURREAL. 

2.5 Years ago, when we were first married, I could not WAIT for Brett to be done school.

2 years ago, when we found out we would be going to AZ, 

I could not wait to move on to the next chapter of our life and move away.

1 year ago, I started to realize & learn how I COULD wait for Brett to be done school, and 

how grateful I was for the experiences we were gaining. I realized I had taken time for granted.

6 months ago, I began realizing what a difficult adjustment it was going to be for me to move 

and leave behind my family, friends, and great job. I began worrying about the adjustment and wondering if I would be able to find new friends... if I would be able to find another good job....if I would be able to find the same joy and comfort I have in Utah.I realized i wasn't quite ready for our lives to change drastically.

Last week, as I was sitting in the car driving around from home to home,

I began to realize how wonderful it is to discover your own path.

I have spent far too long comparing my path (or our path) to those of others.

We live in a world of criticism and comparison with facebook, blogs, and social media.

Everyone's lives look busy, beautiful, and perfect.

At times it is hard to separate your life from the lives of others.

Recently I have been catching up with some friends and family. 

As they have told me (in their own way) about finding their path, I began feeling genuinely happy for them.

No comparisons, no criticisms.

For the first time I felt I was really, genuinely able to separate my path from theirs.

In no way did any one else's path influence how I felt about our experiences and vice versa.

I realized the reason I was so happy for others, was because i was genuinely happy with our path.

This is our path and it is perfect for us.

Sure, a lot of it is a unknown. 

It is going to involve a very busy Brett and a brand new slate for me to develop myself in new areas...

 but by golly...I couldn't be more excited. 

Like really, really, excited.

That doesn't mean it will be easy...

but I am learning to find true happiness in our simple moments and the path to come.

Leaving Arizona, I no longer felt anxious, or worried, or scared.

In fact i was overjoyed to find a place to call, "home".