Let me first start by saying. I'm speechless. 
I will try to find the words.

I'm overwhelmed.

Grateful.

Humbled.

Happy.

And excited beyond belief.

Our first baby is on the way. It feels so surreal, and I'll tell you why...

This hasn't been an easy journey for us (okay mostly me...).

 It's been years now trying to make this happen, and I can't believe it's finally here. 

After supposed miscarriages, ovarian cysts rupturing, several trips to the ER, 

and being told possible miscarriages would be in store in the future... 

having babies looked like a scary road for us to travel. 

Needless to say, starting a family for us hasn't been as easy as pie. 

If it were that easy, let's just say we would be like a bagillion pounds by now.

 It also hasn't been something that we have often publicly shared. 

Sure if someone asked, we would tell...

but besides that, we felt it best not to burden others with our heartache or sorrows. 

I guess I just want to say that although it was THE most difficult trial I have yet endured in my life, 

I can honestly say, looking back on it now...

 I wouldn't change a thing. 

We all go through our own challenges and heartaches that shape us and change us.

For me infertility was one of the hardest things I have ever had to face.

It forced me to grow and stretch my faith.

It humbled me.

So many tears were shed and so many nights spent on my knees.

I remember the day we found out we were pregnant...

Simply put, there was so much peace and love in my in my heart.

Obviously those feelings were for the baby...but also out of pure gratitude and love for my Heavenly Father.

Tears build up as I write this.

It was a gratitude unlike I had ever felt or experienced before.

After I got pregnant one of my fears was that I would forget.

I didn't want to forget all that I had learned through this trial.

I didn't want to experience pregnancy as if I had never struggled getting pregnant.

I wanted it to be different.

I hope that I remain changed.

I hope that I can continue to be a little more grateful...

a little more happy...

a little more in awe...

a little more sensitive...

a little more embracing of the experience...

and a little more humble.

I know I am no where near perfect... not even close,

but I am so grateful for the perspective infertility gave me.

I don't want to lose it. 

Looking back on the experience now, I am realizing that the Lord's timing is perfect.

Even if things don't come immediately, He is still aware of you...He is still blessing you.

I know that there are others who continue to struggle with the trial of infertility.

I want you to know that I love you very much and pray for you often.

I hope with all my heart that you read this and don't feel the pain.

But rather, I genuinely long for this news to give you hope.