When I grow up....

What do you want to be when you grow up?

The question that is asked at every stage of childhood.

First, I wanted to be a dancer.

Then it was a teacher, an orthodontist, counselor, designer and on-and-on-and on.

I had a lot of dreams and went through a lot of different "chapters" of my life.

But there is one dream that never changed -

the desire to be a wife and a mom.

As the father of 3 girls, my Dad always taught us that we could do it and have it all.

He wanted us to stand on our own two feet and shoot for the stars.

ANYTHING we wanted was within reach, no matter how unrealistic.

This same mentality was what made me fall in love with Brett.

That boy believed in me more than I ever believed in myself.

As I told my parents when we were dating, "he wants me to shine."

In the beginning, I wanted my education. 

I started at BYU taking general courses.

The classes were--- well tough, but I loved the environment and I loved to learn. 

I especially fell in love with my family science classes.

When I married Brett I realized a new desire and dream. 

 I wanted to be able to support him and  provide him with an opportunity to go to school full time, 

focus on his preparing for HIS career and our future, 

and all the while not have to be burdened or worried about providing for our family. 

College was a good chapter of life. and I was really nervous to let go of it...

It was something that defined me as a person at the time.

Looking back on it now, I don't really remember anything from my biology or stats classes,

but I can see that I learned and grew in ways that will bless my life forever.

I was told that my dreams were basically doomed when I stopped my education to support Brett - 

but I knew it was right and did not hesitate making the decision.

I knew I was sacrificing for our family and that it was a new dream I was willing and happy to accept. 

I was quickly blessed to find a job at a company called Vivint.

I started that chapter feeling confident and ready for challenges.

And within just a few months in the "work world" I longed for more.

I was able to grow in the company and accomplish things I did not know I was capable of. 

My last week at Vivint was the beginning of June.

{I am a bit behind in blogging, eh?}

Almost 3 years after working for the company.

Was it a hard decision to leave "my career?"

At first, most definitely.

I had dedicated most of my time and energy into pursuing my career.

I was terrified of the change.

 I was nervous to let go of responsibility.

  I was afraid of the unknown. 

Then I realized I was getting the job that I have always longed for .

 The job of a mother.

It was hard to leave the Vivint team.

I was welcomed with open arms nearly three years ago by every single person in that company.

Rex Jensen, my manager, is an incredible leader and someone who taught me so much.

He showed me more than how to be a hardworking employee, but a good and successful person.

He worked with me and accommodated my needs.

He was so kind and generous.

I will miss my team and friends.

They were like my second family.

I am already longing for their life updates.

I hope to never lose these friends.

On my last day they had a little baby shower for me in the office.

I was blown away.

I told them not to do anything... instead, they spoiled me rotten.

Being able to spend some last moments with them turned out to be the perfect way to close that chapter.

Thank you to everyone for making such a long lasting impression on me, 

and for your constant generosity and kindness. 

Now, I am on to the next chapter...the one that I've been longing to write all these years.

And just like before, my dear Brett wants me to shine.

This is what he wants for me now and forever.

He is going to be an incredible Dad to this little boy.

He may be doomed with me as a Mom - 

but boy is he lucky to call him Dad.

I am certain it will be the most challenging, the most important and the most rewarding chapter yet.

And the wonderful part is, it never has to end.

Motherhood is the only chapter of my life and existence that I hope to never close.

 Motherhood is exactly what I want to do now and when I "grow up."

19 weeks till my due date.

But who is counting?