"Whosever will lose his life for My sake, 

SHALL FIND IT."

Kind of love this scripture.
When I was serving a mission, I learned the importance and concept of "becoming"...
Becoming who my Heavenly Father needed me to be.
Since that time, it has always been something that has been important to me.

I am kind of obsessive with making sure that I am always growing and doing things to develop myself.
Brett can definitely attest to this.
I am always trying to take on new challenges & look for opportunities of development.
He says its my competitive side.
I say its my determined side.
I don't mean that in any type of conceded way.
I say it because I am NO WHERE near perfect and have  A LOT of work to do.
I just want to make sure that I am always doing the things necessary to become the person I need to be.

I think that sometimes, one of greatest challenges I face
with our circumstances of being unable to currently start a family,
is feeling as though my growth is stunted.
It sounds really silly as I write it --- but seriously...
I feel like one of my greatest purposes in life as a woman is to nurture.
To love unconditionally.

I often read blogs or hear stories from mothers telling about their love for their children.
It truly sounds amazing...and more than anything I want to be able to experience it.

I am realizing now that Heavenly Father often sends blessings in forms we weren't necessarily expecting...
I am also realizing that those blessings are wonderful and better than ever expected.

At times, during this "waiting period", I feel as though I have lost focus.
I have been selfish and compared myself to others thinking I wasn't growing.
For whatever reason, I have thought that I couldn't "become" until I was an actual mother.
Hello.
I am missing the actual opportunities Heavenly Father is giving me to do just that.
One of those moments came this past weekend.

We have been working closely with a sweet girl and her family as they have been investigating the church.
To learn more please visit mormon.org.
Can I just tell you how much joy has filled my heart as we have worked with her and her small family.

I'll tell you what...
Nothing in the world is better than seeing her sweet face light up and she runs up and gives me a hug.
Nothing has been better than being in quite places together and having her open up about her feelings about getting baptized and asking questions about the gospel.

It's been an incredible journey, and this past weekend Vanya and her family were baptized.
Man I couldn't help but cry--- just because my heart was filled with SO much love for that girl.

What a humbling experience it was to watch her be baptized.
Again, I can't explain how much happiness and love I felt watching her enter the waters of baptism.
It was overwhelming and a remarkable experience.

I am so grateful for the blessings that Heavenly Father has poured down on me these past 2 years.
Even though I have not had the opportunity to have children of my own,
I have sure been blessed to interact with some amazing youth
and have had experiences and opportunities that most don't get..

I can't even begin to describe how much I actually HAVE grown.
Far more than I would have ever anticipated.
And I know that I am AM becoming.
That I AM stronger.

I guess this post is mostly for me.
To remind me of the great blessings and responsibilities I have personally been given.
That Heavenly Father does in fact have a plan.
And it's a plan of HAPPINESS.

How the Heck Should I Know!

Well my internet is down right now. Not sure why though. I came home and notice that my son is talking to someone and monkeying around with the router so I’m assuming he’s trying to get it fixed for me. Hope so!
So I’m typing this in Word and I trying to do research on my phone about something that is old news but that has really been bothering me. On August 20th the news story that caught my attention said, Kaitlin Nootbaar, Oklahoma High School Valedictorian, Denied diploma for Using “Hell" in Speech. I listened to the story, which I believe was on The Today Show and when it happened I thought, ”I should do a blog post about this!” but I never did because life got in the way as usual. So now that I’m making a concerted effort to avoid life in order to blog, I thought I would go ahead and write this.

Internet is back Jack!!!

Ok, so anyway back to Kaitlin and her speech. What bothered me about it is that they requested a copy of her speech prior to graduation for approval. In the copy she gave them, she used the word heck. Did she intend to use the word "hell" all along? Was it in the "heat of the moment" as the media is saying?

I know this really isn't that big a deal and the media has sensationalized it beyond belief, but what really bothers me is whether or not this girl who was a straight A student was dishonest in straying from the speech she had submitted for approval. If she was, then she doesn't seem like Valedictorian material to me.

Should she have to apologize? I say yes. There were lots of people there that may have been offended or shocked by her use of that word. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal but I see with my own mom how it might affect someone elderly. There have been a few times that she and I have gone to our local burger place to get an ice cream cone or a milkshake. This place is a local gathering place for high school and college age kids. It never fails that there will be a crowd of boys and girls that are using really vulgar language and I see how it offends and scares my mom. There is a time and place for everything but a public forum where there are parents, grandparents and children is not the place for a four-letter word! Yes, Kaitlin should appologize, it would be the decent thing for her to do. And just because the First Amendment gives you Freedom of Speech doesn't mean you have to exercise it.

Should the school withhold her diploma? No. What Kaitlin did and what was in her mind and heart is known only to her. If she misled the school staff by showing them a speech with the word "heck" and then purposely changed it to show how cool she was by quoting a scene from a movie and using the word "hell" instead of just being intelligent and creative and writing her own speech...well that is something she will have to live with. Myself, if she had been my daughter, I would have counseled her to apologize.

So what say you? Was she right or wrong? Should she apologize or not? Should the school give her the diploma or not?

Iwanna Wednesday - Iwanna live where I can wear these...

It seems like Fall is almost here. Well not here, it's everywhere else except where I live! Blogland, Pinterest, Google are all filled with fall decorating ideas, warm and hearty soups, fall colors in clothes, purses and makeup.

*sigh* It really makes me wish that I lived somewhere where the leaves actually change color and the mornings are chilly and sharp. Somewhere like this...

So today for Iwanna Wednesday, Iwanna pretend that I live somewhere where it gets cold enough to get all bundled up in beautiful, gorgeous, warm winter coats! Coats that I will never own because it just doesn't get cold enough in Kern County to wear coats like this. So I will share them here and I will drool and lust over them, but alas...I will never own them.



I know this one doesn't look very fall-like, but I do love PINK and this one is so cute and feminine!

The major drawback to this one though is the horrible chest cold one would get with one's chest completely exposed like that right? Not very practical, but then again....a great reason to go shopping for pretty scarves and you know how I love me some pretty scarves!

This next one would truly please my mother as she is a lover of all things RED!

For some reason this one reminds me of Michael Jackson. I googled him to see if I could see him wearing something similar but I didn't find anything other than the outfit he wore when he filmed thriller and a military type of short jacket which was red with gold epaulets. I just love the way this coat ties at the neck with the big red bow...no chest colds or sore throats with this one!




So that would be my mom's fav coat, but my favorite color is green and I've always loved the one that Anne Hathaway wore in The Devil Wears Prada. Oh...by the way, if you haven't seen this movie you really must, even if just for the fashion! I loved it and I love this dreamy green coat with the beautiful leopard trim around the neck and sleeves.

Doesn't Anne look gorgeous in the coat, with the white gloves! I'm just loving this coat, hope it snows this year!

Even though I am not partial to yellow I am really loving this yellow pea coat. I've always loved pea coats and I love the pleated detailing on this one.

I love the buttons too!

And just because a girl can never have too much pink...how about this pink coat with the beautiful ruffly neckline?

I'm loving it and I'm also loving the wire coat form underneath. Even if I never had opportunity to wear this one I could at least display it somewhere in my gorgeous walk-in closet!

Oh wait...that's right, I don't have a walk-in closet. Ok, maybe that will be next week's Iwanna!

And because she is the Queen of Fashion, even though she is only a Princess and because I love her and her style, I couldn't leave out this coat that I've seen Kate wearing. What I love best about it is the ruffle at the bottom. You can't find that same coat anywhere...well at least I couldn't.

Don't you love the buttons and the ruffle. And don't you love the way Kate looks in it?

And last but not least, my very favorite coats. The lovely black and white with the ruffled petticoat that reminds me of the dresses that Miss Kitty wore in Gunsmoke! You all remember the show Gunsmoke right? With Marshall Dillon and Festus and Miss Kitty?  That show and the Big Valley and Bonanza were some of my favorites growing up.

It looks to me as though the ruffle is part of the coat, but maybe she's wearing a ruffled dress underneath?

Either way I love this one!






So there you have it, my Iwanna wishes for this Wednesday are that Iwanna have weather cold enought to allow for coats and Iwanna all the coats above and Iwanna the figure to pull off wearing that much bulk!

So happy Iwanna Wednesday and may all your Iwanna wishes come true!

And that's a wrap...

summer 2012

Can't quite get my head wrapped around the fact that the summer is over.

It truly seems like we were just beginning this beautiful season.

I feel like time is just flying by.

Kinda bitter sweet.

To be 100% honest, I am super excited to be entering our last year of school.

I look forward to new opportunities and new experiences.

I am happy that Brett will be able to move on and progress with his career.

At the same time, kinda sad to see it all behind us. 

I know that the amount of time that I get to spend with Brett will probably decrease 

(especially during busy tax season).

For the first time I get really sad at the thought of leaving family behind. 

I don't know... just a bunch of emotions running through this girls head. 

Regardless- It was one heck of a summer. 

I feel like so much has happened to both of us during the summer. 

We have both grown a lot.

As individuals and as a couple.

Top 5 Favorite things about Summer 2012

5. Youth Camps

Both Brett and I had the opportunity to go to youth camps this year for our church

I attended Girls Camp and Brett attended Scout Camp

We also had the opportunity to go to Youth Conference together.

It is an amazing thing to be influenced by the testimonies and examples of the youth.

We both truly cherish our callings and the experiences we get to share with these young people.

4. Work

We both put in a lot of hours this summer.

I am enjoying my job now more than ever.

We both are so grateful for the experience we are gaining at our jobs

and the growth we are making. 

Such a HUGE blessing.

3. The Food

Isn't there just something great about summer food?

I mean seriously so fresh and yummy.

We had fun trying out some new summer recipes this year.

You can also never go wrong with an awesome summer sno cone... am I wrong?

2. Family Time

We had a great time spending time with family this summer.

Watching movies, crawdad fishing, nickel city, BBQ's, bike rides.

We seriously love every second we get to spend with each of our families. 

1. Temple Time

Right before the summer began, Brett and I were called again to be ordinances workers.

However this time, we would be working in the Timpanogos Temple.

We worked the 5 am shift, which meant that every Friday morning 

we would be awake at 3:30 am prepping to go serve in the temple.

To be honest, it was a little brutal waking up at first--- but I'll tell you what,

I cannot even begin to describe the blessings that came from it. 

I will always remember the sweet moments I spent in the temple this summer.

I received so many answers to my prayers.

I feel like my testimony and understanding for the gospel was strengthened. 

By far, my favorite memories of the summer were spent in the sacred walls of the temple.

As Brett heads back to school, he won't be serving anymore 

(busy with his final semester in the masters program).

Again, it's kind of bitter sweet. 

I am not sure when our lives are going to slow down again, 

where we both get to be able to serve together in the temple.  

Ya know what?

It makes me all the more grateful for the opportunity we had this summer. 

Such a sweet and special memory.

I'm telling ya... this summer--- twas a good one.

This is a picture of Brett and I the last time we worked together at the temple last weekend.

It was pouring rain, so forgive the blurriness.

I kind of love the picture though. 

Again, reminds me what a great summer it was

and how much we both learned and grew.

My Fav Car and the One that Changed My Life!

So I told you all yesterday that I was off to read some of my favorite bloggers to see if I could find some inspiration and Boy Howdy...did I ever. Today during my lunch hour I visited Sextant over at Navigating the Finite. Sextant is an avid reader, a Jack of all Trades and a Master of Most and I always learn something when I visit his blog.

He writes some pretty interesting book reviews and the other day he reviewed a book entitled Engines of Change, A History of the American Dream in Fifteen Cars by Paul Ingrassia. He gave the book 5 stars out of 5 stars so it's probably a pretty good book. I asked him in the comment section if he could tell me what car had been his favorite car and which had changed his life the most. His response about his 1970 Duster and his Plymouth Voyager Mini Van and his question asking me the same prompted me to leave an entire blog post in his comment section which I just copied and am pasting and editing here for your reading pleasure and enjoyment...lol. Well at least I hope you enjoy it and that it prompts you to consider what car was your favorite and which one changed your life.

Here's what I wrote to him:

Of course, being the true Southern lady born in Arizona of Hispanic heritage that I am...I knew that if I brought up the subject of a man's favorite topic...cars, that I would get a great response back! And I did, it was very interesting reading about your fav car and the one that changed your life the most. I even had to google quite a few things to understand what you were talking about. Like Ziebarting and Blizzack tires. I always learn something reading your blog!

Ok, my favorite car was my big old Red Ford Explorer. My ex-husband and I bought that SUV right before we split up forever. We made a deal between ourselves that in lieu of child support he would continue making the payment on that car.

A few months later I met a nice man, that was a love interest for a few months and later turned into a dear friend. The ex-husband must have been spying on me and saw this new man driving the car he was paying for! The outrage! It was one thing for this new man to be sleeping with his wife (which he wasn't) but it was an unforgivable insult for this new man to be driving a car he was paying for. So he stopped paying! Without telling me! A few months down the road the repossessor came to take it away!

Fortunately I had worked for American National Bank in the repossession department and this repossessor and I were friends and he was very nice about the whole thing and even told me how I could get it back. After living without my car for a weekend I showed up first thing Monday and refinanced the car in my name and paid for the car my own damn self!

But that is not the reason that the car was my favorite car. The reason it became my favorite car was because of the fun I started having once I left my ex-husband behind. I remember trips to Arizona with my kids to show them the land of my birth and to introduce them to their family. I remember trips to the beach and to skate parks and band trips. I remember going out with girlfriends for happy hour and having one of them throw up out the passenger window after drinking a tad too much and how her vomit stained the paint and forever that memory sat right there on that door. That dear friend was with me when I traded it in and she fondly stroked the streaked paint while she and I both cried saying goodbye to Old Red! I still miss her, the car I mean because the dear friend is still my friend...on facebook :)

The car that changed my life is the sweet little White Saturn that I am driving now. Why you ask? Why is that the one that changed my life the most? The Saturn is the first car I ever bought on my own. And when I say my own I don't just mean the only car that my dad didn't buy for me or co-sign a loan for me or my husband co-purchase with me (only to flake out in the end).

No...when I say that is the first car I ever bought on my own I mean that I took my lil ol self on a Saturday to the car dealerships in Bakersfield and wheeled and dealed on my own only to be turned down by Ford, Toyota and Honda for my debt to income ratio. I was a single mother, times were tough, did Ford, Toyota or Honda care? Nope!

So I was driving myself home in my Ford Explorer that was on it's last legs due to transmission problems when I drove by General Motors and saw a Saturn Ion with Suicide Doors and I was intrigued. So I dried my tears and I stopped and I test drove and I was approved by GMAC to purchase the Saturn interest free!!!

As I drove away in my brand new Saturn I was filled with pride in myself that I DID THIS! I bought a car without the help of a man. I can do this! I can make a life for me and my kids. I can buy a house on my own and not wait there in the tower combing my beautiful brown locks waiting for my Prince in Shining Armor to come save me. Nope...I was my own Princess in Shining Armor and I've been saving myself ever since! Many mornings as I leave for work I turn and look at my house, my couch, my kitchen table, my curtains, my KINGDOM and I say to myself, I DID THIS...ME, MYSELF AND I. My Saturn taught me "Si se puede!"


How about you? What was your favorite car? Did you have a car that changed your life? Funny how we have such a connection to a car. I've cried many a time I've seen someone drive away in a car that I used to own.

Practice makes perfect? We Shall See.

Richard Carlson, motivational speaker and author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...and it's all Small Stuff says, "You are what you practice most."

I've been thinking back to when I had tons to blog about, everything I saw, felt and experienced immediately in my mind went to how I could, should or would blog about it. The more I blogged, the more I wanted to. Now I realize that I haven't been blogging much lately. I go through my day just getting through it. I need to get over that! The only thing I've been practicing lately is work, TV, Facebook and Pinterest.

So today I decided I need to get back to practicing and practicing hard. Writing every day, training my mind once again to see a blog post, hopefully an interesting one, in everything I see and experience.

And I'm going to start visiting the blogs of some of my favorite bloggers. Many times just reading one of their posts inspires me to write about something similar.

So I'm going to try to post every single day this week! Let's see how that goes. So far this is all I got for today. Since I'm not particularly inspired to blog about something specific I'm going to go read blogs.

Ô toi l'au-delà de tout (Taizé)

Ô toi l'au-delà de tout,
quel esprit peut te saisir?
Tous les êtres te célèbrent;
le désir de tous aspire vers toi.


You who are beyond all things, 
what mind can grasp you?
All that lives celebrates you; 
the desire of all reaches out to you. 

Text: Gregory of Nazianzus

See my other blog postings in the "Taizé" series of chants.

Official Taizé Community Website

Wikipedia information on the Taizé Community
- in French
- in English

you & me going fishin' in the dark

(crawdad fishing that is...)

By far one of the greatest Cosgrove summer traditions- Crawdad Fishin.

Saturday afternoon the gang decided to pack up and head on up to Strawberry.

It was a blast to say the least. 

A day packed full of sunshine, laughs, and memories. 

It was this pretty girl's birthday, and what a way to have celebrated.

Can't believe she is 21. Holy macroll.

We took the time to open presents while at the Strawberry. 

We all love Carley very much and were so excited to be able to 

spend some time with her on her special day. 

If you have never crawdad fished before, it is quite the interesting process.

Tie raw chicken on a piece of rope and watch the little critters come running!

We decided to actually cook up the crawdads while we were up at the campsite. 

Dad decided to introduce a new and improved recipe, and let me tell you...

Absolutely scrumptious. Like a party in the mouth. 

We all had a blast shelling these bad boys and enjoying the great fishy taste.

After enjoying a delicious crawdad feast, we all had a blast just kicking back and laughing.

We stayed until it got dark playing games and cooking up smores.

Gosh I love these folks. 

Truly nowhere else in the world I would rather be than with them. 

Waiting for the Stork

Most definitely a lot has happened to Brett and I since our last anniversary.

Brett completed his internship with Deloitte and was offered a job.

We have begun to make preparations to move to Phoenix next summer. 

We are approaching our LAST 2 semesters of school (hoo ra)...

This past year has been a whirlwind of opportunities, and gratitude fills out hearts. 

Throughout the course of these exciting opportunities, we have continued to try to expand our family. 

This journey hasn't been the easiest for us (okay mostly for me...).

Brett and I felt pretty quickly after being married that we were supposed to start a family. 

It's been 2 years now trying to make this happen. 

After a miscarriage, several trips to the ER, 

and being told that it could take up to 7 more years for us to have a family,

 we have been faced with a number of emotions. 

Heartache.

Confusion.

Exhaustion.

I guess we can just say, for us it has been no walk in the park.

We do lots of those. Walks that is. 

And if it were that easy, we would have like a billion children by now.

Normally, I am not one to share my feelings about infertility. 

It is a trial that I like to hold close to home and only discuss with those closest to me.

I hate to appear weak. I hate to burden others with feelings of pain. 

So for all you silent sufferers (and I know you are out there),

and my dear friends that I know have been struggling as well, 

I hope with all of my heart that you read this and know that you are loved. 

My goal in writing this is to let you know you are not alone--- 

and that you are SO important to your Heavenly Father. 

There are those of you who ARE that lucky out there. 

Whose husbands seemingly only have to wink at you, and bam....pregnant. 

For the longest time, that was always the hardest part for me. 

Feeling left in the dust.

Feeling inadequate and unable. 

Watching everyone I know welcome beautiful bundles covered in peach fuzz.

Quite honestly.... it is sometimes nearly unbearable. 

Not because I am not thrilled for the new parents... 

but because it is a constant reminder of my trial and the things I am unable to attain. 

Before I proceed, I need to mention one other thing. 

A moment goes out to my stud of a husband. 
I know I talk about him a lot,
 but I seriously couldn't go on day to day if it were not for him.

Brett is truly the MOST level headed individual I have ever known. 

He has always been able to see the bigger picture. 

That man truly has a perspective like no other-- 

it has helped us to both stay perfectly happy and calm along our journey. 

To calm my nerves when I needed it the most. 

I love him,

He will make one heck of a father. 

In the past month, as we have continued to pray, hope and discuss the expansion of our family,

several times the discussion of adoption has been brought up. 

I cannot say that we have not considered adoption prior to this point.

We have. 

But especially lately, I have begun to question if it is something 

our family should begin to prepare more earnestly.

I guess earlier, I would think about adoption in passing. 

Lately, the matter of adoption rests on our minds more frequently.

To be honest, the thought has always scared me a little. 

I consider myself a faithful and determined person.

I almost felt as though if we were to explore other avenues of having children, 

I was a failure. That I was giving up. 

Not to mention, Brett and I have always dreamed of a little look-a-like. 

Would they have dark hair like mine? Or maybe bright blue eyes like their daddy?

There is just something special about a woman's role of bringing her children into the world.

That is a role I have ALWAYS wanted to fill.  

A few weeks back, I had a precious experience that, once again, 

had an impact on my perspective of infertility. 

I was serving in the temple pondering why we have to struggle with infertility.

I'm sure there are a multitude of reasons, some physical, others spiritual.

That day I was helping out at the front of the temple. 

(one of my favorite things to do by far)

I love seeing the joy of people coming to the temple. 

I was especially blessed to greet a small family that morning. 

There is no denying the light that filled their eyes. 

It was a young couple - dressed in white. 

The young father holding a small little boy - dressed in white. 

As the small family asked for some directions, I asked them about their visit. 

The small boy gleamed as he said, 

"Today I get a forever family".

Both parents eyes welled up as they both hugged and kissed that beautiful child. 

I later found out that the family had adopted the small boy from Haiti. 

It was like an answer that I had never expected. 

It came to my mind that one reason for our infertility may be to lead us to consider adoption. 

What a peaceful assurance. 

We do not yet know for certain that we will end up adopting a baby...

but we do know that Heavenly Father has been preparing us for that possibility. 

I have found that one thing that helps me, 

when I am feeling sad about our current situation,  is writing letters. 

Letters to OUR future bundle of joy.

I know it sounds a little cheesey--- think what you want.

I honestly felt a little strange as I first began to jot down these little notes. 

But later, I found it filling me with more hope than sorrow. 

Recently I wrote the following...

To MY sweet little baby,

     It does not matter how you come to us, we will love you just the same.

 I want you to know, that I know, for absolute certain, that Heavenly Father has a plan for you. 

It does not matter how you come to us, because you are still meant to be ours.

 Every morning when I wake, every night before I sleep, 

and a million times in between I pray for you.

 I pray that I will be in tune with the spirit so that 

I might know how to provide the way for you to join our family.

 I pray that you will be healthy

I pray that I can be the kind of mother that Heavenly Father wants me to be. 

I pray for you, because I love you.

I pray that I will get to meet you soon

I know that this our journey is still ongoing-- and probably will be for sometime.

But oh how grateful I am for the knowledge of a kind Heavenly Father who loves me. 

Who showers me with tender mercies and love. 

Who opens a door when i think all hope might be lost. 

I guess my point for writing this all is to say that hope is never lost. 

No infertility trial is the same (that I know), but I ALSO know that we are not forgotten.

That the Lord IS aware of me. He is aware of YOU.

That there is light at the end of the tunnel. 

And although the trial is probably one of the MOST difficult challenges a woman may have to face,

WE ARE BLESSED. 

Hold on. Don't give up. Look for the blessings. 

Because they are there- and they are REAL.

me and you. and you and me.

no matter how they toss the dice. it has to be.

the only one for me is you. and you for me. 

What a weekend.

Even though Brett & I will share our anniversary in a couple weeks,

we decided to pack our bags and celebrate a little early with a short getaway

(considering Brett will be back in school during our anniversary).

We decided to leave behind the chaos of our busy lives and enjoy a 

sweet weekend of relaxation in park city. 

It has been nothing short of a hoot. Just what the Dr. ordered. 

The second we started heading up the canyon, we were in heaven. 

We have spent our time...

playing cribbage by the poolside

shopping at the outlets

sleeping in

walking around downtown park city

playing ping pong

watching movies

munching, munching, munching

& honestly--- just talking and sharing laughs together... 

One of my favorite things to do with Brett is recall how far we have come.

We spent time going over the last year of our lives and what we have done. 

We covered everything from holidays down to the small disagreements we have overcome.

It was hysterical and loving all in one. 

Truly, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world than with this man. 

We Thank Thee oh God for a Prophet

PRESIDENT THOMAS S. MONSON

A few nights back, I was reading some talks given by President Monson.

Truly inspiring. 

Reading the words simply reconfirmed to me that he truly is living prophet on the earth today.

What a blessing to have this knowledge.

It inspired me to recreate some of my favorite quotes spoken by the prophet.

Enjoy! Happy Thursday.

So coming up, Brett and I will share our 2nd anniversary together.

Did I type that right? 

2 years.

Surely that puts us in a whole new category. 

Gosh time flies.

It seems like yesterday I was staring into Brett's teary eyes as we were being sealed for time and all eternity.

As cliche as it sounds, it was truly the best day of my life. 

Not because of the pretty dress, the flying bouquet, or the many beautiful details of the day...

but because of the life we were starting.

Growing up you dream of the prince and princess moment

but you don't realize that the ordinary part is actually far greater than the party.

We have grown together far more than I ever expected in these past 2 years...

and honestly- I could not be more grateful.

To my main man-

I love you more with everyday.

You still crack me up, and I hope it never stops. 

You spoil me rotten in the smallest of ways-

and the biggest of ways. 

You are my rock. 

You are still sweeping me off my feet, and I am certainly not complaining.

Here is to a lifetime of anniversaries.

I love you with all of my heart. 

Sing a New Church

Summoned by the God who made us
rich in our diversity
Gathered in the name of Jesus,
richer still in unity.

Refrain: 

Let us bring the gifts that differ
and, in splendid, varied ways,
sing a new church into being,
one in faith and love and praise.

Radiant risen from the water,
robed in holiness and light,
male and female in God’s image,
male and female, God’s delight. (Refrain)

Trust the goodness of creation;trust the Spirit strong within.
Dare to dream the vision promised,
sprung from seed of what has been. (Refrain)

Bring the hopes of every nation;
bring the art of every race.
Weave a song of peace and justice;
let it sound through time and space. (Refrain)

Draw together at one table,
all the human family;
shape a circle ever wider
and a people ever free (Refrain)

Text: Delores Dufner (1991)
Tune: NETTLETON, from Wyeth's Repository of Sacred Music, Part II (1813)

See my other blog postings in the Contemporary Catholic series.

Sanasi on lamppu (Taizé)

Sanasi on lamppu, valo askeleillani
Your word is a lamp, a light on my path

Paraphrase of Psalm 119:105

See my other blog postings in the "Taizé" series of chants.

Official Taizé Community Website

Wikipedia information on the Taizé Community
- in French
- in English

Eternal Spirit (Lord's Prayer, New Zealand Prayer Book)

Eternal Spirit, Earth-maker, Pain-bearer, Life-giver,
Source of all that is and that shall be,
Father and Mother of us all,
Loving God, in whom is heaven:
The hallowing of your name echo through the universe!
The way of your justice be followed by the peoples of the world!
Your heavenly will be done by all created beings!
Your commonwealth of peace and freedom sustain our hope and come on earth.
With the bread we need for today, feed us.
In the hurts we absorb from one another, forgive us.
In times of temptation and test, strengthen us.
From trials too great to endure, spare us.
From the grip of all that is evil, free us.
For you reign in the glory of the power that is love, now and for ever. Amen

Text: Jim Cotter
From A New Zealand Prayer Book: He Karakia Mihinare o Aotearoa (1995)

My oh my.

The few months pushed me to grow in ways I never thought imaginable.

During my senior year of high school I learned the value of a to do list.

From sketching out my future goals, to detailing what I needed to get done the next day,

it was always a pretty big part of my life.

It gave me control and a sense of accomplishment.

I especially loved being on the mission having a

daily plan that was organized to the hour of everyday.

Since being married, working full time, being the yw president, and a full time wife...

well... I don't always have complete control over my days as I might like.

Sometimes the day-to-day tasks seem harder than ever to accomplish.

Sometimes it seems like I am not crossing things off.

Sometimes I compare myself to other girls and feel oh so behind.

Work tasks need to be completed,

Thank you notes still needed to be written,

dinner cooked,

laundry done,

YW tasks complete,

and on and on and on.

Not to mention the little "extras" that I love to do.

I felt like I was "not accomplishing anything."

Gasp.

As soon as the line came out of my mouth I felt terrible for uttering it or even thinking it.

{Although I am sure the thought will cross my mind many-a-time}

I realized I am accomplishing the most important thing in the world every.single.day.

Why is it that silly things like "clean off sewing desk" make it on my to do list -

but being a good wife isn't?

What about -

saying I love you to the people I care about?

Smiling. Enjoying and relishing each moment.

These things are far more important than cleaning my toilets or finishing tidious tasks.

It all seems so clear when I look at the bigger picture.

But how easily it is forgotten.

I am learning to forgive myself for not being able to cross it all off.

For having a mound of laundry and a couple "easy dinners" during the week.

It's all ok.

Because at the the top of my to-list is to be a good wife and woman.

I simply need to slow down

and remind myself that as long as our little family is happy and healthy

I have accomplished just about everything.

I just realized how many things I have done for YWs that I haven't posted. 

I know that I have personally really struggled trying to find cute ideas for different things, 

So... with that being said,  I have decided that I going to start doing a better job

 of posting things that I get to create with my calling in hopes that it will provide others with some fun ideas!

One of the first creative projects we did as a new presidency was update the yw board.

Previously, it was all the old yw "bright value colors".

We transitioned the board to incorporate more of the pastel value colors. 

As you can see we also used a lot of cute pins from pinterest to decorate the board. 

 It was a little difficult because we needed to incorporate both the Spanish & English themes.

Nonetheless, we think it turned out pretty cute.